And the baby is.......

Well it wouldn't be fun to jump straight to the answer... then you wouldn't be interested in reading all about my drama :)

So yesterday- the big day- not only was it my birthday but it was also the day we were going to see if we were going to have a boy (potato) or a girl (tomato). As I woke up, my daughter asked if she could make me breakfast- which of course I accepted... in bed :) Soon after that my count down started for the water consumption. I don't know who came up with this rule but its TERRIBLE. So we finally all loaded up in the car to head to town- my insides were all itchy from excitement.. "Golly geez! I was finally going to find out what I have been cooking!"
Of course as soon as we start driving all the water hit my bladder at once. Holy crap- every bump I was afraid I was going to pee myself. Then my tummy was so full of water that all I wanted to do was just throw up... I was in the middle of a terrible pregnancy equation. By the time we reached town I made the pathetic attempt to call the doc to see if my appt could be bumped up a little. I was starting to lose faith in my bladder control. I mean after all- I have already had 4 kids. This little bladder of mine isn't the strongest anymore. I single sneeze or laugh takes me to my closet to change!

By the time we get to the doc, there was no earlier appt. In fact the receptionist gave me this look like I was a freak for asking. So I gently sat myself down in a chair and tried waiting patiently. I noticed a couple across from me that just sat down JUST completed their ultrasound.. I swear I heard angels singing... it's my turn next- and they got done early!!!! I started some small talk with them and I found out that they couldn't see the gender because the cord was in the way.. Even though I sympathized with them I would have to admit that I had an inside smirk... "that wasn't going to happen to me- I'm special and today is MY birthday. Ha Ha Ha!" yeah, I know.. I am a little bit evil, but I am totally blaming that on the hormones!
As I looked down at my clock I noticed that the ultrasound tech was FIVE MINUTES LATE!!! Holy crap... how much longer am I going to have to hold all this water??!!!!

Finally... being fashionably late, It was my turn. As I led the way to the room, I noticed that I could no longer stand up straight and my pregnancy waddle has become a creature of its own. I dubbed it the "pee- pee walk"

So fast forward to the good part...... baby is looking very healthy and growing perfectly :) then she asked if we wanted to know the gender.. Umm Sch-yeah! That is why we are here lady!
Then I hear the best words... "looks like a girl"! Yup, I clapped my hands and yelled YES! She then followed with a " well... hmmm let me look again... well it looks like it might be a boy.. " I would have to say at that point, we were all quiet. She begins talking again... " well, you know I can not be 100%, this baby keeps moving and the cord is right in the way along with its foot"

HOLY BOOGERS!!! What the freak?! i DONT get to know what we are having??!!! This cant be true!!! Not me. Not on MY birthday. Am I getting punked??

As happy as I was to hear that the little bean is healthy I told Charley I felt like I need a therapy session just to talk about what happened!

And oh my goodness.. I almost forgot this totally funny moment... after our ultrasound, we had to go back in and wait for the doc.. well.... HHAHAHA, as we walked in, we see this lady dancing - I think it was dancing, in the corner of the waiting room... There was one single lady with a new baby stuck on that side trying hard to stay out of the way, but this dancing lady was C R A Z Y. She had earbuds in and was just letting loose.. The whole room was quietly watching- but trying not to stare... waiting... "please someone call her out of here". This lady was breaking a sweat and started to remove her coat. Oh man... no one knew how long she would be doing this so called "dance". Finally she was called back... as soon as she left... the WHOLE room BUSTED out in laughter. Who knew that there was a live show today at the OB office! Every little joke you could think of came out of the mouths of these women sitting there.. Charley's only comment was, "why would you get yourself all sweaty like that just before you went for a woman exam" ... sadly... I didn't have any response to that.



*************** THIS JUST IN **********************

Too funny.. So i JUST got a call from another momma that is due around the same time... she had the SAME problem.. ok all you babies in womb- what the peanut is going on??? You are holding up our shopping!!


**************** Back to the Program *****************

So.... we do not know what we are having. But I did ask my dear old doc that if it IS another boy, who was to blame (hhehehehe) and she made my moment when she said "Charley". And I have to admit for a brief moment, Henry the VIII came to my mind. No, I would never cut off my hubby's head (either one for that matter) but it sure was funny for a second!
I know God has a plan for me and won't give me anything I can't handle. Even if that means another hormonal girl to raise. Yes, I am still dreaming of pinks and ruffles and cute little girl shoes... but a boy is perfect too. There is nothing like a boys love. But ohh how sweet a little curly head girl would be!

The rest of the day almost seemed deflated. Not only did we NOT find out the sex, I lost my Old Navy gift card that I was saving since Christmas. "OHH WOE IS ME" But I gently got over it and prayed that it will show up very soon. I need me some more comfy clothes. I did have a Target Gift Card I could use today and we were going to my fave place for dinner.

A few hours later we make our way out to CDA for some shopping and food. Tell me how PATHEITC I am... There was nothing that tooted my horn at Target!!! I got 1 shirt and bought my son a new pair of shoes. No baby stuff looked like I needed it, no clothes seemed cute, cute underwear.....forget that! So my dear hubby gave me a hug and said. "C'mon, I know what will make you feel better... steak"! Uh-oh.. I could feel the hormones building up.. This was suppose to be a great day.. and I was trying, but just failing at it :( On a good note, we were seated right away at the awesome Roadhouse Steak House...and had an awesome waitress that just kept busting Charleys..... comments.... on what he wanted to order. Pretty funny actually. Dinner was awesome- service was GREAT!! I was pretty shocked to see how many were celebrating their birthdays there.. We saw a total of 5 while we were there.

The day wasn't all that bad. I am glad I was here to celebrate it. God was just saving the best gift for later....and I am ok with that :)


******************

Now.. as far as today goes... Welllllllllllllllllllllll
I think I woke on the wrong side of the bed..the truth is, is that if I don't get a good nights sleep.. I am the biggest MOTHER the next day. As hard as I can try, my sleepiness will power over me. I blew my top this morning when things in my world went a little more than south. And the poor victim at the center was my daughter... To me, she was not doing what I had asked and I, um, well, broke down and felt like the world was coming to an end. So I was in one room crying and my daughter was in another room crying. Hubby walked in and I am sure he wanted to run the complete opposite direction. I did not envy him... well... wait. Yes I did.. I was thinking how lucky he was to be leaving the house and doing something more important than laundry. Here I was left with not only my emtional state but also my daughter AND a curious toddler that had already succeeded in getting a bottle of lotion in his hair. There was no Calgone that could take me away. So I did what I do best... cry.
There was no way I was going to get this house clean. I had no energy and on top of that today was a day of deep sorrow. Not sure why... there wasn't any one thing that was pushing me... I was just overwhelmed and could not handle of any of it.

There I sat on my couch, as my toddler was climbing over me and from what I could tell, trying to climb inside my skin- he just couldn't get close enough to me. I felt like I wounded my daughter and I wouldn't have blamed her if she hated me forever. I felt like the lowest mom ever... All I wanted was some help this morning and for her to do her chores and I blew my lid. Every time I wanted to hug her and beg her for forgiveness I broke down again. What a fruit cake I was turning out to be already today. I decided that since nothing was going to get accomplished today and I acted like a terrible mom.. I reached out for (gulp) help. A few minutes later, we were in the car and headed towards the daycare center. I knew the little man would have fun.. I mean he would get full attention, change of scenery, a good lunch, and plenty of play time. But as soon as I handed him over and got outside... there came those tears again. This time Lilly asks, " are you crying again"? Poor girl didn't know what to do with me. She tried making small talk and making me laugh but I was stuck in BLAH world. Once we were alone together, she thanked me for letting us have the day together. She even told me that I was the BEST mom in the world- forever and ever. She gave me a hug and told me that she loved me.

But I had to ask, " even when I crazy and yell at you"?

" Yes, mom even then.. I love you lots"!

Now, even through these tears, I feel so blessed. I am amazed on how God has given me the most precious children with the biggest hearts. I will be forever grateful for the way that my kids quickly forgive me when I make mistakes- no matter how big or small they may be.

I think THAT is the best Mothers Day Gift I can receive.

Easter

Wow.... what a few days it has been! I am just lucky I didn't write on the blog on THAT bad day. I think ya'll would have called someone to have me committed somewhere. I was almost certain my hubby was close to making that call.

Saturday was such a beautiful sunny day and we enjoyed it at my parents house in our little early Easter celebration. During their Easter egg hunt, I was trying to take photos of them since we really haven't done that in years, but getting photos of 4 of them running in opposite directions was like herding hyper cats. Here is a few that I did manage to get...

And a nice butt shot of my dad..

and look at that excitement on their faces for a group photo


For the past few years, celebrating the holidays have been hard for me. Not sure why... I used to be ALL OVER Them and having fun right along with them. Maybe I'm just old and cranky or grew up to be boring.... There are times when I really miss being that goofy holiday freak I was.. but then there are moments where I am so glad I didn't get all caught up in spending money on ANOTHER thing. Maybe I should make a pledge to myself that this year to really try to be FUN. At least 2 holidays... I should find the picture of Lilly and I from the last halloween we celebrated.



3 hours later......
ok so I had to do a quick trip to the store and on the way home I was thinking about the whole holiday thing.... I think ONE of the reasons is because of the weather. My fave holiday used to be Halloween... I used to LOVE it.. .not that I celebrated in a demented way...well I used to love scary makeup, but for the family mom I am, I keep it to nice things.. Nothing scary. When I lived in Florida (ahhhh good 'ol sunshine state) every year I used to take the kids to this harvest party that my church did. It was a great event. We all got dressed up, had free hot dogs and soda and then at the end of the night, we all went Trick or Trunkin'. If you have never heard of it... a bunch of cars get lined up and they filled their trunks with candy so the kids can safely go trick or treating... It was a lot of fun. Another fun thing they did, was for the full month of October, out in front of the church- which by the way was on a very busy street, they had a little pumpkin patch. You could go in and either look around or purchase a pumpkin. Through out that "patch" they had these adorable photo op places. Now, I am thinking.... why will Sandpoint NOT do something like this. Why must a family travel almost 2 hours away to do something family orientated like that?? I know my hubby doesn't like that idea... and neither does the debit card- especially with these gas prices!
I am thinking to myself that this is perfect for a local church or charity.. They raise money for their organization and it gives our families here in Sandpoint something fun and safe to do... it is even doable in our weather. With 2 small kids, I do not like going to overly populate- no adult supervision places... C'mon SANDPOINT... THINK!! We can do this!!


...................................

ok... I have said my peace.

......................................


ok back to "Easter"
On Easter Sunday I was perfectly happy that we did our celebration on Saturday. But my hormones were on a rampage and out to get someone... anyone that crossed my path. On that particular day... I targeted in on sweet 'ol hubby.
(insert scary movie music here)
All I kept saying to him " I wanna get out of here.. its too nice to be here"
I guess what I meant was.. I was sick and tired of listening to kids cry, scream, fight and not listening. I was tired of the house and these 4 stinken walls. I was tired of just always doing the same ol errands... The Black -Hole of Wal-Mart
I wanted to drive out to Coeur d alene. Yeah.. for those that are from here.. there is nothing special about that place... except PEOPLE and STORES.
When I couldn't express myself the right way, all I could do was cry. "Why couldn't this man understand me?!!??"
"what more do I need to say besides TAKE US OUT OF HERE"

I honestly believed I cried for about 3 hours that day.

In a moment of his own frustration he asked me to post a "wanted" ad on facebook for a babysitter so he could take his loony wife out. Of course no one was available.. it was a family holiday. But we got my mother to fall victim to my gang. So out to dinner we went.
My attitude still wasn't getting much better. The longer he was on his phone- the more it made me just want to go home... then that sweet sack of man of mine, decided to examine the roll of quarters. I couldn't even tell you for what reason anymore because I was no way impressed.
Finally we decided to play a few games of pool. Now, let me tell you.. I suck at this game.. in fact that doesn't even describe the way I play. Here is how I do it :) I look at the white ball- figure out what other colored ball or stripy ball is close and just try to hit it.. No reason to the game except HIT A BALL!!! Now, if I get a ball in that is the design I am suppose to hit... then SCORE for me!!
The first round, I would have to say I was kicking his butt. For a moment I was getting all cocky in my pregnant state thinking that my new balance was making me a good pool player... but after that game, Charley quickly reminded me that I once again- with or without my new body image- I still sucked.

It was fun though to get out and do something different. I hope I can find things to keep me sane. I feel like I am in this wicked cyclone that is taking over my life. It feels like you are watching everyone else's life continue and go around... and there I am in the middle of it all- going no where.

Pregnancy sure has me as one fruity and loopy mom... but in the end I know its all worth it. In fact, I have 6 more days till we find out if we are having a

OR a

:)




Oh.. I almost forgot the funniest thing that happened.. Silly me
So on Sunday as I was getting ready, my older son.. which will be left un-named at this moment due to the nature of his comment....He walked into my bathroom, where I spent at least an hour of time trying to look somewhat..... pretty....he looked at me and sighed and said,
"you look much better NOT pregnant"
now, I had to seriously take a moment to myself and think if he might have said something different... but this sweet child of mine that I had carried inside me and raised and loved and given him shelter.... said it again.... I kicked him out of my room! In one personality I was thinking, "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" and the other personality was thinking.... "oh you just wait my sweet child... I'll get you my pretty"


On the way home from our date, Christopher would just NOT stop talking. I mean really, how much could a 4 year old have to say??!! The way he was talking reminded me of a certain commercial so I got a bright idea for him to say it ... "Aflac"
I only wish I had it on video because it was so much more funnier to here him say it...But if you could, in your 4 year old cute boy voice imagine as he says, " awfluck" When I began to laugh, he said it again but this time he said "ifuck". Oh man... I was ROLLING. Every time I heard Charley chuckle I just laughed even harder... I laughed so hard that no sounds were coming out but the tears were rolling down and my face was getting all distorted. Have you ever laughed that hard?? to where your face feels like its all contorted in some freakish way??
Yeah... that was me. I was glad it was dark out and no one could see me.
I am just glad I was able to laugh without peeing myself.

A Play Day

It's morning again... and all I want to do at this moment is enjoy my breakfast. All that is happening is everything BUT that. Can't a girl just enjoy some eggs!?

I am really hoping today turns out to be good. A relaxing day would be nice- along with great behaving kids that have the best listening skills ever! LOL... Almost sounds like I am dreaming huh?

Yesterday I would have to say was a pretty good afternoon. It started like any other- not wanting to get out of bed, but hubby woke me up singing and playing "Good Morning Beautiful". I think that has got to be a great way to wake up :)
After wiping away the sleep from my eyes, Charlie Joe was right there waiting for me to play with him. Oh if only this kid knew how early it was for me... I think we would get along a little better. I tried to sidetrack him but having him go find his book, but its like he has radars on all of them. He was back in less than 3 seconds. Dang. Now I have to read. After reading I did manage to get him to play with some toys as I sat in the sun that was beaming from our window.... ahhh... if I had a hammock I would have been in heaven sitting in that spot. after I got him occupied with a toy, I went and grabbed my camera to try to capture a few pics.

This is my concentration face

After a quick pizza lunch



I decided it was time to get out of the house and enjoy what sun we had. So we ventured out to the park!
Although it was a little chilly (brrrr) they all had a good time!! It was so much fun seeing them laughing and running and just being a kid.
There was this big red slide- everyone seemed to enjoy- but Charlie Joe just kind of stood there for a moment starring at the stairs. Finally he braved them and stood at the top. There he stood again pausing wondering what to do. I think it took him 15 min of watching and having his sister take him down to enjoy it and go back. From that moment on, I couldn't get the kid to play on anything else.





The funniest moment was when Chris climbed this rock wall and got all the way to the top, yelled at me to look at what he did.... then started crying when he realized how far he was up. At first i was like "oh please Lord, don't make me have to climb up there to get him", but with a little guidance from his ever-so-cleaver mom, I was able to guide him down, where he hugged me and then took off running towards another adventure.






Poor Lilly, I can tell that she needs a friend of her age. She tried playing with her brothers but they really didnt want anything to do with her. This is one of the many reasons I am so excited for her to start school next year. She is going to have a lot of fun and meet a lot of new friends.





After our play date I decided to take the kids out for little ice cream. That is when things started to get a little stressful. Charlie Joe wanted to continue to run around and each kid was begging me to order something other than what we came for. Blood pressure was starting to rise!!! By the time we sat down to try to enjoy the ice cream, my body was screaming at me to go home and get back to bed! Everything was in pain. Could I even make it home??

Once we got home... no one wanted to listen anymore... and all I wanted to do is hide in my room and sleep till tomorrow. I guess its one of the perks of being a mom.. no naps!

Ugh.

I woke this morning with excitement and a little hesitation. Today was my last session of my maternity year. I am hoping that I am able to take a few sessions but the way things are going... it doesn't look too promising. A good friend of mine and her 2 cute kiddos had her daughters LAST session of her first year :(..... What that meant for me was a shower.... and I decided that I was going to brave the razor for a good clean shave.

All I can say is I had entered a new Olympic sport:
Pregnant Lady Shaving In Small Shower Stall.

I'm not even sure what I got and what I missed. Legs were .... ummmm... not too bad. I could see from the knee down. Everything above that... YIKES! But other places.. GOOD GRAVY! As Jenny McCarthy says... I should have left the twinkies alone!

From there I ventured up to the stuido where I witnessed a doggy mess. ( I was warned it was there but I was also told it was cleaned up- which makes me all the more mad) Woooooo let me tell you that THIS pregnant woman was NOT happy. (OFF WITH THIS HEAD!)
One of the dogs had gotten INTO the studio and into the trash. Lets just say that cleaning up dirty diaper shreds is NOT the way I wanted to start my freaking morning. Can you tell I am still a little upset about that?@

I completed my session with the most adorable little girl - I swear she could so be a Baby Gap model. Not only is she fashionable but so cute. It was killing me seeing all these cute baby girl clothes. I think secretly I am hoping that this momma will want to pass down some cute outfits if we have a girl LOL.

When I got home... I seriously came in and back out again. I can not believe how much of a mess an 11 year old and a 1 1/2 can make!! Just imagine for a moment, if you will.... He had gotten into a bottle of powder - where he found that- I have NO idea, but he did and he decided to powder the whole house and my bed. AHHHHHHHH. Then his snack- apparently he didnt want that anymore so he managed to crush it all on the carpet into powdery crumbs. The kitchen... I have no idea what my sweet adorable daughter was thinking... I know what I was thinking though. I WANTED OUT!!!!
Actually what I wanted to do was to call a babysitter and have her come rescue me as the 3 of them cleaned and I take a little trip to town to cool off and fatten myself up. Then that creeping thought of dinner came and I was forced to go to town to get dinner supplies. UGH. By this time I was so done moving, thinking, talking, crying, yelling.... couldn't we just have pizza and actually have it delivered to my door, please?

We did manage to clean the house. Between my daughter and I, we did a pretty good job. I made the younger ones do all the bending and picking stuff off the floor. Now all that is left to do is cook. Thankfully my kids want Manwhich - which will be easy peesy!

Is it bedtime yet??

Got Milk?

My daughter who will soon tower over me and reminds me that she will be taller than me very soon {and I quickly remind her that I am still bigger than she is}; isn't the only one that likes to stomp around the house in my fave heels.

I had made a quick potty break to find my little guy outside on the front porch watching the snow fall in his daily get-up. What diaper and t-shirt wouldn't be complete with a FABO pair of black heels?!

Heheheh.. I love you little man...
~Mommy

some pictures

The other day I made myself dust off the camera and take a few pics.

This one- Charlie Joe just woke up and was not amused with this camera in his face. He looks like he has a few choice words for me.

My older son, Matty, has a toy obsession and this year its Pokemon YUCK. We have tried everything to steer him towards something else, but this kid wont budge. He is not allowed to watch the show or have those toys (personal preference) but he is not discouraged :) He has made his own collection of cards :) I think that is pretty darn creative!!

I do have to say that it feels good posting pictures of my kiddos... dirty faces and all. SO maybe this maternity break will be good for my mommy soul. But if you hear me screaming- just bring me the coffee health crunch ice cream and a box of tissues :)

Mommy Meltdown

Well it is pretty embarrassing to see I have so neglected this personal blog. Shame on me!
The reason why I decided to venture back to writing today... well, to be honest, I am having a mommy melt down. But before I go all HORMONAL and crazy on you.. Ill try to catch you up on a few things.

Charley finished the "guest"house out on Warren Island.. it came out BEAUTIFUL and he started another "guest" house in Hope - same around but no water to have to work across. It is pretty impressive seeing a drawing come to life. I hope to one day have our dream home... Built in just a few short months like his houses are LOL.

In January we found out that we are expecting our 5th bambino. Lets just say it has been a little hectic. The doc decided that it would be best to not wait till I was so awful to put me on my meds, so we started out the pregnancy with them.. which has helped but still had days when I couldn't get out of bed or hold anything down. Thankfully we are in the 18th week and let me tell you, it has been so stinken slow. Besides feeling miserable 99% of the time... I am already uncomfortable. I can only imagine what 8-9 months is going to feel like. I think what is the worse is all the things I want to do like deep clean the house, play with kids, make good meals, get out and enjoy some of these sunny days... and I just can't. At this moment I have so bored and going a little stir crazy. As my kids are.. which is the reason for the mommy meltdown and temper tantrum.

My days have started where getting off the couch takes me three tries. Walking is now waddling and shaving... FORGET IT! Today I woke to find the house ONCE AGAIN trashed like WE got hit with tornadoes. yet, the only person that cares is ME. I look at little Charlie Joe who has juice stains and dirt feet and just running a muck in the house, one kid sleeping on the couch like he had a hard night, a daughter that forgets her place and another son that is trying to escape any trouble by keeping quiet and out of sight. All I want is clean kids, a little dusting, clean dishes and the laundry to be done already. I dont think I have had any clean clothes for what seems like 5 months already!

Yes, you can call me dramatic, as today I probably am. But all I want is a clean and organized house... just for a few days. Tempting as it may be for the thought of escaping the house - with the kids of course-even that seems like too much work and makes me want to take a nap before that thought is even finished.
I dream of the days where normal is back again.. where I have control of my house again and the kids are happy with the mom they know. I cant wait for the sore c-section tummy and a little baby- even if he or she cries just to be fed. At least ( I hope) I will feel a little normal.

But than again.. Normal is so overrated.