Mommy Meltdown

Well it is pretty embarrassing to see I have so neglected this personal blog. Shame on me!
The reason why I decided to venture back to writing today... well, to be honest, I am having a mommy melt down. But before I go all HORMONAL and crazy on you.. Ill try to catch you up on a few things.

Charley finished the "guest"house out on Warren Island.. it came out BEAUTIFUL and he started another "guest" house in Hope - same around but no water to have to work across. It is pretty impressive seeing a drawing come to life. I hope to one day have our dream home... Built in just a few short months like his houses are LOL.

In January we found out that we are expecting our 5th bambino. Lets just say it has been a little hectic. The doc decided that it would be best to not wait till I was so awful to put me on my meds, so we started out the pregnancy with them.. which has helped but still had days when I couldn't get out of bed or hold anything down. Thankfully we are in the 18th week and let me tell you, it has been so stinken slow. Besides feeling miserable 99% of the time... I am already uncomfortable. I can only imagine what 8-9 months is going to feel like. I think what is the worse is all the things I want to do like deep clean the house, play with kids, make good meals, get out and enjoy some of these sunny days... and I just can't. At this moment I have so bored and going a little stir crazy. As my kids are.. which is the reason for the mommy meltdown and temper tantrum.

My days have started where getting off the couch takes me three tries. Walking is now waddling and shaving... FORGET IT! Today I woke to find the house ONCE AGAIN trashed like WE got hit with tornadoes. yet, the only person that cares is ME. I look at little Charlie Joe who has juice stains and dirt feet and just running a muck in the house, one kid sleeping on the couch like he had a hard night, a daughter that forgets her place and another son that is trying to escape any trouble by keeping quiet and out of sight. All I want is clean kids, a little dusting, clean dishes and the laundry to be done already. I dont think I have had any clean clothes for what seems like 5 months already!

Yes, you can call me dramatic, as today I probably am. But all I want is a clean and organized house... just for a few days. Tempting as it may be for the thought of escaping the house - with the kids of course-even that seems like too much work and makes me want to take a nap before that thought is even finished.
I dream of the days where normal is back again.. where I have control of my house again and the kids are happy with the mom they know. I cant wait for the sore c-section tummy and a little baby- even if he or she cries just to be fed. At least ( I hope) I will feel a little normal.

But than again.. Normal is so overrated.