WARNING! She's gonna blow!

As I try to calmly sit here and count down to the safe zone, I wonder to myself if I am seriously the only mom that goes through what I do. Does any other mom yell at their kids for not listening, not doing their chores, for hitting each other, for jumping off furniture, for coloring on the walls, for spiting at each other, for breaking each other toys, for toddlers thinking they can scratch and pinch and hit their mommies???

I feel at this moment like one of those thermometers that gives you that blaring warning sign that says IT'S GONNA BLOW!! no, in fact, that doesn't even fully describe my emotions right now.

In theory or in someone elses practical- good mommy- ways, I am just so over reacting over the things that really have upset me today. Heck, you may even look at me right now and say "someone should have screened her before she had ANY kids..."

well, I hate to break it to you... I am human with LOTS of faults and a very sensitive emotional gauge.

I will try to spare you the details of my rather "groundhog" day, but it didn't start very well and it certainly did not END very well. In fact, I am still waiting for it to end.
Each one of my kids knows EXACTLY what to do to get me just rip-roaring MAD. I mean like "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" mad!!
For example... my sweet and -oh-so-hormonal-daughter offered to put my laundry away for either the reward of spending the night with her cousin or watching a movie with me. Heck ya!!! Good girl! well I walk in my room when she announces that it is all gone.

Ok -wait... let me PRE-warn you all. I am VERY picky (or anal) on how my things are set up. I have them the way they are for my own personal reasons.. Don't try to change it or you will see my head start twitching and my mouth will start foaming... ok- just a warning.
well i walk into my closet where she has shoved the baby bassinet in there, half of the clothes are on my bed and half my closet was taken apart and MOVED in odd places.

OK, so I calmly just took a breath thinking that she was just "trying to help" but then out of the corner of my eye I noticed SHOVED behind a stack of jeans was a basket full of cloths that she balled up and stuck behind other stuff.. WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAATTTTTTT??

ok that breathing technique flew right out my window and I do believe I mumbled some stuff to myself.
Her excuse..... " I didn't know where it went"

Ohh how I needed the chocolate fairy to come down and stuff some chocolate in my throat at that moment. I couldn't even think of what to say that made any sense. I think random words and letters just came out of my mouth.

Ok so I made her fix all that stuff and explained that if she didn't get something to let me know otherwise she is making MORE work for me to... and we all know how well that goes over for me.


Then our sweet little monstrous 2 year old decides to get his hands on whatever he can manage to get them on. So here I am trying to wobble my way across the room to catch him and clean up the destruction, but before I can grab my pudgy hands on him, he is onto the next section where he will devour the house... By this time, I admit I was yelling and screaming at anyone that was in ear shot of me.

I think my last nerve I had left, went to dear ol' Christopher, who decided to jump from couch to chair hitting people on the head.... like he was the fairy godmother from Lil' Bunny Foo-foo.

At that point my motherly horns came out, my head started twitching and yup, my mouth started foaming.

....... so now I am sitting here, sharing my faults and weakness to you and feeling like the biggest loser mom of them all. I so admire the moms that can deal with all my issues and keep a calm and collect voice and temper.

I am not the best at being a mom..... I don't spend my hours sitting on the floor playing games or reading books nor do I make it my mission to keep them occupied. I yell at them and at times I scream at them. But I do know that I love them with so much love but also show them that I love them and that they are important to me. I never put them down or belittle them. I do have expectations of them and I demand respect.

It kills my heart that these moments of weakness come... what seems every day, because I do love them so very much. It hurts my heart when I read blogs or posts about how wonderful a mom is having with her child(ren)......makes me wonder, what the heck am I doing wrong?!

I just want to do good... and let them know that I am only human and I am not perfect- nor do I except them to be perfect.... Honestly... I just want them to listen... the first time I speak.

Maybe tomorrow I will invest in a whistle and a blow horn. oh yes, and a box of milky ways to get through the day.