The Stress Test

This morning I had another doc checkup. We were suppose to go do pre-op as well... This morning didn't go as planned Grrr,

As we were parking in the parking lot, I gave each of my 4 lovely kiddos a mommy warning.. "please guys, lets be really good and quiet and as soon as we can we will go home". My oldest son goes, " if we behave, do we get a surprise?"

"Have you lost your dang head?!"-- is what I wanted to say.. but instead in my sweet mommy voice I explained that GOOD behavior is what you are SUPPOSED to do!

As we were walking in, I just kept praying that they would be good and not fight. 4 kids in a doc office is not the best place to be. At least I knew I didn't have to do some "exam" with all of them there.

The nurse had a hard time finding a heartbeat.. almost to the point where I wanted to grab that doppler from her hands and do it myself. I swear she had painted my whole belly with that cold nasty gel. Finally, after 7 tries, she finds it. Doc came in shortly after and I voiced my concern that yesterday and this morning my little potato wasn't acting like his usual self. Believe it or not, this kid has a daily movement schedule. So, he changed his plan on getting my to pre-op (ugh.. I really wanted to find out what time I was going to have this little one) and decided that putting me on the monitor would be a good thing. So, me and my basketball team of kids, headed to the other side of the office for some belly monitoring. At first it was kind of nice.. big comfy chair, pillow, table with magazines, graham crackers and ice water. So far the kids were doing ok... that is until the nurse leaves me alone.... with ALL of them... hooked up - not able to move.

I kept thinking.. good lord, please help the couple or momma in the room next to me that has to hear all this noise. Few minutes later... the screaming starts, the fighting starts and my stress and blood pressure starts to go up. Throw in a few contractions and there you have a moms stress test!

GOOD GRAVY! Where the freak was that nurse and why can't they have a tv in here or something?!

Finally, I get the go ahead to head home. They came back with the verdict that I was dehydrated and needed to drink more water. Ok.... let me explain something to you. Water is the ONLY thing I can actually stomach and I drink enough water that I can be a floaty. So my question is... if I am not able to keep myself "hydrated" what then???

Yes, I know I only have till next week, but its only Tuesday. How about we quit with the BS and just get this little one out :) I am totally ok with a healthy baby in my arms.

The Hangover | Part III

Yesterday I felt like I was barely hanging on. I felt ill and so incredibly tired. My one chance to get a nap when my little one FINALLY passed out, I jumped into bed and tried to get some rest. Only to be jumped on and woke up an HOUR later. Now.... this has to be a mothers curse.. usually the little stinker sleeps for at least 2 hours- but nooooo not yesterday. I seriously couldn't wait for it to be 4:00 pm when hubby comes home. I couldn't WAIT to finally get to bed.
When dinner time came I wanted to crawl into a hole... I couldn't even think of food or burning energy to make dinner. Thankfully, the kids were happy with cereal and hubby was pleased with frozen pizza. I am so thankful that they are all so simple.

Well as I was drifting off to night-night land last night, hubby stepped out of the house and once again I was awaken by a child jumping on me- thinking it was playtime. Grrrrrrrr. I walked into the livingroom to find ALL the lights turned off- which you KNOW does not mean a good thing. When I flipped the switched I really couldn't believe what I saw. Couch cushions were off, toys everywhere, clothes everywhere, one kid hiding in the corner eating jello with a straw and the other kid had pudding not only on his face but ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I just walked my sleepy butt outside to tell daddy that basically his time was up. I put the kids to bed- or at least in their room till the BIG MAN came in.. and I went back to bed. No way was I going to deal with that after the day I had.

so this morning..... ugh. again, woke up with a 2 year jumping and poking me- yelling my name " MOOOOMMM" I walk out into the living room and what do I find??? Another mess. And not just any mess- it looked like a scene from "The Hangover"- all that was missing was a tiger in the bathroom. Soda cans, food, clothes, toys, crayons, more food, dirty diaper, and more soda cans... all over the place. And lets not forget the dishes that were piled up in the kitchen. I looked at the mess, said a few choice words out loud and began to cry. There was no way I was going to be able to clean this all up on my own. I can't even finish a load of laundry without needing a nap!
So I let the kids know that I was upset and made the little creatures clean up the livingroom. They actually did a pretty good job. Now if only I could wiggle my nose and the kitchen be clean- I would be ok with the rest of the house not looking like normal.

Today it is so hard for me to keep my eyes open and keep the kids entertained long enough so they dont cause trouble. I can't let them loose outside because without an adult to look after them, they just know things they shouldn't be doing. And it's just too hot for me to sit outside.

It would be really nice for this day to just be over. I really cant take much more of the BS around here. I found out yesterday that we have a new houseguest that is staying here.. well not HERE but in my SIL house. What is maddening about that is NO ONE decided to let us in on that.. I really do not think its too hard to say " hey, do you mind...." or " hey I just wanted to let you know...". Oh no.. of course not.. I get to just find out like it's no big thing. One thing I have learned about myself as I grow older is that I dislike how people can be disrespectful. Especially on your own property.
We have exactly 3 weeks left till our due date- still SO much to do- and no one to do it except for me. Which is fine- it is my stuff- my responsibility. With that, we STILL need to finish and repair the other house- which that too is on a waiting list. I would just feel so much better if things were done BEFORE D day comes. Otherwise all I get to do is stress and think about the things that NEED to be done. Now, would be a great time for a clone.. a 2nd wife... a friend... someone that has time to help me. I am not doubting hubby at all, but just looking around here and thinking of everything that has to be moved... and its NOT packed..... its so much for me to take in that I start getting anxiety. Maybe it will be different once my kiddos get home and I have my full family back.

As of right now, all I want is something yummy to eat, kids that will just have a relaxing day, and just enjoy the simple life of today of doing nothing.. except for maybe some knitting.

Sex Education

Everytime we get in the car- so it seems- my almost 5year old wants to do a spanish counting lesson. That is all we heard tonight on the way TO the store... now, on the way back he wanted daddy to tell him again what the German numbers were.....

backstory.... a few months ago, Charley was teaching the kids how to count in German and one of the numbers (6) sounds like the word "sex", we ALL of the kids busted up laughing and just couldn't get enough of hearing that!!

So on the way HOME tonight, Christopher asked daddy to count for him again in German...
"eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sieben, acht, neun, zehn"

if you counted that, you would see that he skipped the ONE funny one (sechs)

Christopher says, " no say all of it"... we just giggled as he KNEW he had skipped one... so daddy asked, "all of them? what did I skip?"

" you know... (giggle- giggle) that one...."

"which one, Chris?"

(giggle giggle) "you know... that "sex" one" (giggle giggle)

this point I was just laughing... My kid is smart.. I couldn't believe he KNEW which one Charley skipped.
So Charley asked him .." what is sex Chris?"
I'm thinking.. oh good lord... ANYTHING can come out of his mouth. I was preparing my tummy and bladder for a good laugh.

"sex...is GROSS!!!"

"But what is sex?- What does it mean"?

"It's Gross- I don't want to talk about it"

"well, you and mom do it...... Wyatt's dad and mom do it.... Patrick and his wife Jessica do it"

...at this point, not only am I in shock that he knew what he was talking about but then he listed PEOPLE- couples- MARRIED couples. Charley just smiled and said he was a smart kid.

Well, I guess Chris thought saying the word "sex" was funny at this point, so he kept saying it but daddy shut him down and told him that he didn't need to say it anymore and when he was about 10 they would talk about it again... but Christopher had to come back and say, "how about when I am 9".. Charley thought about it for a moment and said, "at this rate, it may need to be sooner..maybe 7"- then he gave me that look like I need to be prepared that this kid is smarter than the average kid we have. GULP

As Christopher would say "O M G"

This is what I want :)

Dear Friends and family...

so I have been doing a lot of thinking... more than normal - one could say :)

If you are EVER in a pickle on what you can get me... start a collection for me to attend a photography newborn workshop :)

Yuppers... I have been wanting to attend one of these for a super long time and with all the bills and *ahem* drama we have to constantly deal with... there is not left over fund for play.. But I sure could use a "sponsor" per say to send me on my way to better my education and talent of photography :)

I think its a LOVELY idea :*

My Darling Daughter

So I just posted a blog post on the biz blog on my mini photo session of Lilly.. Take a peek- she takes my breath away!!

http://jax-creations.com/blog/2011/07/lilly-bug-sandpoint-child-photographer/

Melts My Heart- Not My Hands

The most wonderful thing just happened... my little Charlie joe just said "wuv you"

this is wonderful... well for obvious reasons- if you are a mom , but because also this little guy has a major speech delay for his age. We have been in speech therapy with him for almost a year and as much as he HAS improved, things still are a little unclear. So when words become crisp and amazing like "wuv you" I just wanna jump up and down with excitement.

I remember the days when I longed for children and couldn't wait till they could whisper " I love you mommy". It completely melts my heart- and still does to this day. I will NEVER get old of hearing that!!

But today- I just really needed to hear those words.. from that little boy of mine.

Thank you Charlie joe... those words mean the WORLD to me :)

because I Care...

So today was a very hard day for me- physical wise... I have been in SO MUCH pain that seriously I wanna first punch someone and then break down into tears... Being pregnant- at times- is seriously over-rated! I can not wait for this journey to be over and I can coo and ahh at my little potato... which I am still voting for the name Jack- but that is another discussion for another day!!

So... kids hit their meltdown hour- which is SO conveniently at the dinner hour... and this momma just couldn't take it, so I went to go get the big dawg a.k.a- Daddy!!!

Well each child of mine had a nice little talking to and whadda ya know... hmm they sure did seem to understand that momma wasn't just talking to hear herself talk! In the middle of the "lectures" I mentioned that Lilly was having a hard time keeping focused on her math work and how she just gives up and finds a way to avoid it.
***Her math book is her summer school to help her keep on track for 6th grade- very important**
Well as daddy went thru her stuff he started noticing some pretty obvious mistakes... When asked where her work was, she said she did it on another sheet of paper... ok ... fine... so further into the book, he realized that the answers she was writing was just RANDOM freaking numbers... and then CONFESSED that was exactly what she was doing.... WHY would she do that?? because she didn't want to do it. OH good Lord...

So we erased 35 pages of blatantly wrong answers and gave her the news that if this was the way she was going to act and be- she was NOT going to Florida. She was given 2 days to finish her work- CORRECTLY or she was going to stay home and work all thru summer- LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO DO!

Now.... I am sure some of you are going to rant and rave about how WRONG we are as parents to do such a thing to her... well get this. .... As any child of mine, they will be respectful and responsible. This math is not a new thing for her- it is her basic math she has been doing- nothing new. I do not see the need for me to sit by her side or look over her shoulder to make sure she is doing it correctly. If you fail to do your responsibilities, well then my friend, you fail to have your cake!!

Now yes, poor Lil was in tears- for good reasons. We do NOT put up with lying or cheating at all in this house. That will get you no where but trouble. As much as I want to see her go on vacation and have a great time and get all spoiled like they do..... her schooling is MUCH more important and I will not stand for it to be any other way. She is a child that has a more difficult time learning and staying on task, and we as parents have not worked our butts off to get her where she is so she can lie and cheat just to go to Florida.

i had to explain to her that she means the world to me and as much as I do want to see her have some fun in the sun, SHE is much more important than that. In fact, I told her that if her "dad" felt the same way, that he too would want to see her succeed and spend his 1 week off up HERE while she is still able to continue with her summer school AND have some fun!!

In my eyes- the only eyes it matters- this situation is called R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y

Now... you can think what you want and say what you want back to us as parents.. Yes, I am sure we are being "harsh" or maybe not being fully understanding to an 11 year old girl, but the fact remains is we have rules in this house... and we fully expect each one to follow them.

We love our children so very much- which is probably why we are hard on them, but we give them so much love and support. We don't have high expectations for our children... we still want them to be kids, but we do want them to succeed in life... no matter if they want to be just a wife, a doctor, a baseball player or a pizza maker..... we LOVE them deeply.


We did call Lilly's "dad" and I am SURE he had a few things to say when we got off the phone.. I know I would if I was in his shoes, but I PRAY that he sees the importance of this matter and him himself makes the right decision.