Becoming One With Myself

The last few days have been NUTS. Well, it's mostly me doing this hormonal rollercoaster AND being a girl AND feeling needy. Not only did I need some attention from my hubby but I wanted NO attention from the kids- for just a moment.. just to use the bathroom on my own, fold laundry without the sounds of fighting or just a moment to eat a meal in quiet. I need to get on my routine and get back to the gym. I am realizing more and more each day that my once 20 yr old body is long gone. Just looking to find a way to celebrate and love my "new" mommy body lol.. Things are not as tight as they used to be. umm yuck.
So this afternoon, my friend, Becca and I, hit the gym for a yoga class. I figure this would be relaxing and fun :) Well, sometime yesterday I got hit with a BUNCH of energy as well as a bunch of words that I feel like I need to get out as fast as I can... so when we walked into the yoga room, I paced around wondering where I should be... I opted to get as close as I could to Becca without it being too awkward. The lights were off, it was cool in there and my fave music was playing- this should be good!!
I felt like I had ADHD in there. I couldn't stop looking what the instructor was doing, I kept fidgeting, I noticed my breathing was a lot faster than everyone else in there and most of the stretches where actually hurting me instead of helping me. WTH?
While everyone else was concentrating and focusing on their inner self, I was stretching my toes, making notes to myself that I need a pedicure, thinking that I should have washed my hair, plotting to take a shower, then remembering that my armpits were hairy and don't let anyone look at them, noticing then that my legs were just as hairy- now I was thinking I really wanted a shower... as we moved into the next position... I kept hoping that my body didn't make any weird sounds because it was all WAY too quiet in there.

I just couldn't take it seriously for some reason. Becca was sitting in front of me- and as we faced the mirrors it was so hard to not start waving my arms around like she had 4 arms! When the instructor went into this bend forward on one foot and balance pose.... I had to bite my lip to not make giggling noises or comments. All of that grace that I once had.. yeah- that is all gone.

When the class ended- we didn't even know that the class had stopped. We sat up and looked at each other like, "huh- it's over"

So, I felt like I wasn't so much "one with myself" but more like... what do I do now??!! Almost... ALMOST wanted to get my zumba on or try that scary boot camp class.. but of course we opted to leave and do some grocery shopping.

It feels better to get back on "track"- emotionally- now only if I could get this laundry back on track- life would be grand!