Loco in the Bakken

Back where I come from- the mountains, trees, streams, lakes and people that believe in Christ! We come from a place where no matter who you were, you were given blessings for the best. No matter who you were, people helped you out. You treated your friends like family and your family even closer.

When we moved here- I was filled with excitement. I was so happy to be all backed together as a family. My hubby was out here for a few months without us, but we decided to take a loss on our life and home back in Idaho to just be all together here in Dickinson. After all- it was just a house... A home my hubby built with his own hands and belongs that we had gathered over years- but just stuff.

We had blessings with company housing and later a better job that has opened up an opportunity for hubby to start his own business out here. My business has grown beautifully and I have been able to meet some amazing friends and clients in the year we have been here.

We had to move out of our company housing due to the job change and we were blessed to have found a house that would fit our whole family. The landlord was great (in the beginning) and had come to the agreement that since he had evicted his last tenants, that we would take care of all the cleaning and repairs in exchange for the deposit. After thanksgiving, a LONG time friend of hubby's, Trent, had joined us for dinner. He was sharing with us how his work was going and that he was waiting for his apartment to be finished and waiting for more work to start up again for him. So here was a friend of our- a friend that was family to us- a friend that has been a part of our lives- and we did what we do for our friends and extend our home to him. We never asked for money from him nor did we ever accept money- it was just not something we would do.

The landlord had met Trent- welcomed him, was nice to him and asked if there was anything we needed, to let him know.

a while later....

the dude went coo-coo!! Showing up at our door yelling and screaming- yelling obscene words with the kids sitting right there. We refused to answer the door and asked him to leave. When he decided to get louder, we called the cops. We later received a hand typed eviction letter on our door.
Since we have Legal Shield, we called up our lawyer, explained the situation and got legal advice. We followed all the legal steps we needed.

After our lawyer sent a letter to the landlord that in fact the hand typed letter was not in fact a legal eviction letter and we had legal representation, we would still be legally able to reside at that address. Well as you have guessed we soon after that did receive a court order eviction letter. Still not the correct letter, but good enough for good 'ol North Dakota. We had a court date set and off to court we went.




















I was proud of hubby. For standing his ground. For doing the right thing and not letting this guy bully us into paying an extra $1000 a month for us to continue to live there. Remember we have been paying $3000 a month and had only 2 months left in our lease. We did all the research we were advised to do and had copies of the lease.

We get to the court room and I instinctively wanted to yell " OBJECTION" and " YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH" but the looks hubby was giving me was telling me I better not utter a word. What a kill joy huh lol
 Long story short- the landlord oozed lies out of his mouth- making me want to just cry. I couldn't believe he was sitting there in front of the judge and just bleeding bullshit lies. If I had a dart gun- I would have tranquilized him for sure.
In the end the judge ruled on his opinion on what "subletting" means. We were just flabbergasted that a judge would rule on his opinion. Whatever happened to the ... i dunno.. the LAW. He then hit his little hammer thingy and ruled that we had 5 days to vacate the home.

I walked out flustered but feeling such peace about it. I wanted to squeeze lemon juice in the landlord eyes, but I had such a great calmly feeling from God. I know he has a plan and I felt safe. Hubby looked so sad and just angry- and for good reason. He was doing the right thing and we just got suckered punched.

We went home and tried to make a game plan. I called the only person I knew that could possibly direct me in the right direction. Housing here in ND is so ridiculous. Sweet Ms Amber was able to spread the word and this amazing man had answered us with such grace. We were in need of a home with 4 or more rooms, someone that would hear our story, listen and acknowledge that we were not trying to take advantage of anyone, but really just living in what we believe in Gods giving way.


Mr D was the one that was the one that had answered our prayers- heard our story and listened to our hearts... and offered a home that he had available to rent. I wish I was able to fully express my gratitude and the love that I have for such an amazing person who accepted us. On friday, Mr D called us for the walk thru and he graciously handed us over the keys. I could have seriously cried at that moment :)

This house is so cute and comfortable. I am so happy to call it home :) From the outside I was a little worried that it would not quite fit us good but inside its more than perfect.

God, thank you so much for the many blessings- this was a hard journey but we knew you had a plan
and its perfect- just like always!

Amber- thank you for being a friend and listening to me. Thank you for reaching out to your friends and co-workers.

Mr D- Thank you SO very much. We will be forever grateful for your blessing and gracious heart!

Charley- I am so proud of you! Thank you for sticking up for our family and never letting the evil get into your heart. You are a great man, husband, provider and father! I love  you!

To my friends - thank you for your support and prayers!

now.. who wants to come over for some coffee :)

Piggy In A Blanket

so depressing. so frustrating. so easy to fix.. at least it would seem.

This morning I woke up and I swear I felt like my thighs were 3x bigger than yesterday. With everything going on- kid after kid sick, I have been eating anything that seems comforting- which sadly has not been healthy choices. I complain all day long and run myself into the ground with nasty comments about how I look, but still I sit here- still trying to get motivated to just make it to the gym.

Depressing. 

I know the outcome will be good if I  JUST. DO. IT.

I have tried to bribe myself with new clothes, money, gifts... but nothing seems to pull me out of this lazy funk.

I feel like it would change if I had someone to drag me along with them. Someone to keep me excited and motivated and made it a weekly "date". I feel like I could do it if I didn't feel so run down in the evening and then so beat up in the morning.

 How do I get out of my nasty- fatty-oh-so-ugly funk and get EXCITED to go to the gym. Excited to be like "hey, I am gonna sweat today and love that burning feeling!"

I am heading into my mid thirties and this body is for sure not getting younger, tighter or less lumpy.

The Poop-capades

My mother instincts are not on par today. Today I was busy trying to focus in on my Ms Betty Crocker personality by trying to whip up a test of zucchini bread. I heard it was as easy as making banana bread... well my recipe made it not so easy... so I tried adding a few things here and there to see what would be created. As I slipped my bread pan into the oven, I smiled as I felt I had actually accomplished something today. The littles were occupied and playing... but then I noticed... they were TOO quiet. Which only equals out to TROUBLE.

I quietly walked into the livingroom... hoping that my quiet footsteps would be quiet enough to not share any littles just in case they were actually  just being quiet.

I walked in the living room and the older little was no where to be found but the littlest one... had made a jump pad from his block container.. diaperless. I giggled to myself as I watched him climb up on his launch pad - naked- and jump. That is when I REALLY noticed. This diaperless baby was covered in poo!!! I quickly scanned the room for the stinky missing diaper....way in the corner with his pants- layed the smelling wretched diaper. And there, standing on his launch pad with a ear to ear smile.. was my little. Waving his poo covered hands, bending forward getting ready for his big jump. My mind suddenly went through this process...baby took pants off, baby pooped, baby took diaper off and PLAYED with it...baby now has been all over livingroom, on top of a box, with poop covering his bum and getting ready to jump... and I am calculating that he will just land on his butt... on my carpet!!

I fully move forward in what seemed like a slow motion movie- yelling "NNNNnnnoooooooo" and reaching for him. I then suddenly start yelling for the older child to "BRING ME THE WIPES!!!" of course I get no answer. Once again, " Charlie Joe, bring ME the WIIIPPPPESSSSS" That little turkey casually walks out of my room still in his cartoon tunnel phase. Holding my laughing and wiggly little- covered in poo- I remind you.... I AGAIN ask for the wipes. As he slowly starts walking toward the opposite direction of where wipes would be, I grab the closest thing to me to lay this wiggly child on. The wipes bag. empty.

We had a few minutes of wrestling to clean up and get dressed again, but in the end I suceeded to clean and participate in the monthly poop-capades.

And if you are wondering about that zucchini bread... blah. came out bland. Next time I will be sure to follow an actual zucchini bread recipe!

My 30 Days Of Great

Back in February I took an online course through Creative Live with the oh-so-great Hailey Bartholomew from You Can't Be Serious and The AMAZING Sue Bryce. I was so excited for this course because I have been wanting to capture video for YEARS- wanting to give my clients something extra special for them to remember a part in their lives. I am actually probably - one would say- addicted to capture video clips. I secretly have a stash of them... not really knowing what to do with them lol..

Anywho... I took this course and at the end they announced a challenge for all us students. To video something each day for 30 days- something you are greatful for and make a video montage under 2 minutes to share with the world.

So with a hop, skip, jump and a twirl, I began shooting. I shot big and little things that made me happy. Things like coffee steam on a cold morning, a moist yummy chocolate muffin on a tiny plate and a tiny spoon - seriously tiny things make giggle. I got a lot of video of my littles... well because I love them and well because they were the ones that were around me the most.

The day came where I wanted to work on my grand video project.. only to find out that SOMEHOW I lost my video clips. I think I actually cried at that moment... and I can't really confirm or deny, but I think there was a little chocolate binge in there as well. Everything that I had worked hard on.. was gone :( How could I do this?! Being a professional photographer I tell others to make sure they back up their stuff all the time.. and I do it myself for clients.. so WHY would I not do this myself?! UGH! I thought that there was no way to actually make the contest deadline and I just threw my hands up and had a little pitty party for myself.

3 days before the contest closed I got a new surge of enthusiasm and I kicked my butt into gear and decided to have a go at the video with what I had and what I could capture in one day. I let myself have fun and told myself that even if I do not make the deadline, what is important is to 1. finish the damn video and 2. this would be something my kids would enjoy hopefully forever!

I found a song by one of my fave folk children singers- Frances England and had a go at what I had. By day 2 I was stressing out because I had 4 hours to finish and nothing was looking right. Once again, I had a pity party as I tortured myself by watching all the other great (seriously great) videos that were being posted online. Feeling like a failure, I closed my laptop and gave myself a mental tongue lashing.

To my surprise... I found out that I still had a WHOLE day to finish the video.. so once again I climbed aboard this emotional train I built and kicked butt to get it finished. That day had a bunch of little problems which included the program crashing and then me not being able to view it. Holy Boogers.. the only one that can fix it was hubby and he was working... LATE.

One hour till closing.. Finally he got the program working and I was cursing at the internet at this moment on how slow it was going. I sat on the facebook board announcing my troubles and begging for an extension. Knowing how silly that sounded.. why would they give me an extension??? But they were wonderful and kept telling me not to worry. HAHAHAHahahahaha how funny... no worries.. that is all I seemed to have done. Finally 30 minutes past the deadline, my video was published and posted. It for sure was no academy award video, but to me it was perfection. It was my life- under 2 minutes. Yes, it would be GREAT to be one of their top 5 videos, but there were some really amazing videos. I am just happy I did not fully give up and trash it. As crazy and stressful I made myself for this video... I would for surely do it all again! In fact, I can't wait for the next video challenge!

So here is my 30 days of Great. Go ahead and take a peek and tell me what you think :)

I Miss

This post is not to sound like I am ungrateful... this afternoon I had some thoughts of things that I miss- either for myself or for my kids. Again please do not take this as I am ungrateful or missing the good things that I currently have.

that being said....

As spring is here.. here except in North Dakota ;) I miss Upward Sports. My daughter played basketball and it was so much fun watching her.. even at practice. Sad that Dickinson does not have Upward. Am I brave enough to try to make that happen??? Eeekkkk.. I somehow do not have faith in myself for that challenge.

I miss things to do with the kids. Activities, events, SOMETHING. Yes, we have a gym here, but childcare is crazy and I have anxiety issues with just letting the kids swim without an adult being right there next to them.. more for the little ones then the big ones.

I miss family time. I miss the feeling of riding my bike as kid. Riding it as fast as I could- letting go of the handle bars and feeling the wind in my blonde hair. I miss climbing trees and playing outside. I miss BBQ's and the occasional bon fire.

I miss the feeling of cleaning the house- and enjoying it :) I miss running in the grass with no shoes on chasing the kids. Blowing bubbles, watching the clouds and sitting in camping chairs having adult conversations.

I miss the feeling of laughter between friends and how your face seems to deform with a great laugh!

I miss a great MOPS meeting- a meeting where you no longer felt alone and you accomplished a cute craft- with no kids hanging or biting your ankles.

I miss the smell and feel of the ice under my skates.

I miss the beach. The smell.. the way the air tasted.. the sound of the ocean at dusk. The feel of the sand as I squish my toes in it.

I miss being able to go to bed with no problems.

I miss being able to laugh, sneeze or cough without peeing myself.

I miss having boobs.

In all those serious and funny things to miss.... I am grateful for so many other wonderful things. Like granny panties for those days that my butt just needs an extra hug.... and for those 5 little kids that show me love and give me hugs and kisses just when my day needs it. 

30 Something Going On 13

I officially have a TEENage daughter in the house. I never thought this day would come... I mean I knew it would come but I just enjoyed envisioning my kids still young as toddlers running a muck through the house. Now, I have an emotional TEEN dancing, running, crying, yelling, laughing and singing through the house.

What is even more crazy is still have littles in diapers WHILE having a teen. I mean its great having someone always available to watch the littles while I [try] work, shower or once in a while sleep in.

Wednsday, Lilly turned the big 1 3 and I wanted to do something special and fun.. and a little embarrssing for her. So I decided that a special delivery at school with 13 balloons, 13 flowers and a tiarra would be great. Then I thought that it would be even FUNNIER if I showed up in a tutu and crazy hair. Well lucky for her I didn't find or have time to make a tutu.... so instead her dad and I stopped at her school during lunch and surprised her. She was sitting in the back of the room- with her back towards us- PERFECT. So we walked in... calling her name- louder and louder until the WHOLE room was paying attention and she turned around.. "lilly..... LILLY.....LLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY"
When she finally let herself acknowledged us, she stood up- just as everyone starting singing Happy Birthday. To my surprise, she started crying and did not want to let go of me. IT was pure classic moment. That moment where I wish I had a photographer following us JUST to capture her! After everyone was done singing, dad threw her some keys to her own truck. Charley had said back when they were little that on the kids 13th birthday that he wanted to get them a truck that they can rebuild and learn how to take care of. I just wanted to buy her shoes. He definitely got the best parent award for LIFE!

That night, we took her to get her ears pierced. She has been wanting to do it forever but kept chickening out. In fact she did change her mind again but we as bad parents took her anyway lol. She did fine.. ok she did cry even before the lady did it. She got so emotional before the actual piercing she started to cry. But she looks so beautiful with those earrings in. Now, hopefully she will buy some fun accessories THAT I can "borrow" from her without asking ;)

We had dinner at one of my fave places and then went home. She had planned a sleepover for friday- so that plan was going to be interesting......

The Sleepover

4 girls showed up and we planned on going to a 7pm movie to see The Great & Powerful Oz and let them do some shopping at the mall. If there was time, then hit the yogurt shop for a treat. Hubby ended up working late so I wanted till the 9:45 movie... again this is showing my age because my 8pm I am ready for bed and no more kids. Keep in mind that they have been asking to go to the mall since 5pm- right when they showed up.
We finally make it out of the house and to the mall at 8:30. That left them with 30 to power shop.. I get out the car like a normal mom and suddenly 5 hyper teens start shooting and running out of the car like it was on fire LOL. I calmly walked in a different direction enjoying my little window shopping in peace :)

By 9:00pm we were back in the car and decided to go get that yogurt to pass the time before the movie... again it was like the car was on fire as they exited the car. Oh to be 13 again!

We all finally got home a little after midnight... and somehow teen girls still have a LOT more energy than their parents. Hubby and I went to bed right away while the girls laughed and giggled and talked. I had gotten up around 3:30am for a potty break and they wer all STILL up.. still chatting, giggling, laughing.

One of the guys got up at 5 for work and they were STILL up. Oh there is for sure going to be some crabby girls tomorrow- especially when they have to up and bright-eyed at 9am. MUhahahahahahahahha



THE MORNING
Waking up 5 girls that didn't get any sleep is HILARIOUS! Watching them jump awak and mumble some kind of words is totally video worthy, but once again I went unprepared . Bummer. I am sure their parents would have loved the footage.

Over all I think it was a great birthday for my little girl. I do admit that I am not a cool mom for sleepover for older kids. Now, a sleepover with babies.. anytime :)

8 Year Anniversary

Tuesday November 20th 2012 - marks the 8th year of being married to my hubby.

When I sit and think about us I do not feel like it has been 8 years- seems like we really jsut got together. Then I look at our kids and I am reminded that I am wrong lol

Yesterday my day did not start out very peachy at all- in fact I was pretty much in a bad mood. Towards the end of the day hubby texted me that we were going to go out on a walmart date- due to my shitty mood I had thought to myself "how freaking bum-f- wonderful". I had screwed up by not giving myself enough time in the day to do 2 things he needed to do and I was already feeling like shit for not making it happen- now I had upset him. I was thinking to myself well if he was upset and I am in a shitty mood then it would probably be best to try not to hang out together- especailly if we just go to walmart.

I get another text just before he gets home to see if I am dressed. I responded back that I have clothes on but no dressing to the hills for walmart (sorry). As soon as he walked in the door my heart skipped a beat. I am always happy to see him and glad to have him home. He asked if I was ready to go but asked me to quickly change... into a dress. A dress?! ummm ok! ohhh maybe we are going to go have a drink after walmart :) I love it when he tells me what I should wear- I want to look beautiful for him and having his opinion makes it SO much easier... ohhhh this just reminded me of the time I went to visit him... heheheheh funny story- another blog post at a later date!
anywho..... so we head out to the store, buy a cord... and at this moment I am talking to myself that this was neat- I would love to have one for the studio but then realized I have no speakers of any sort to use this cord for... then my thought go off in a random direction :) We head over to the cards... where he tells me to pick out my anniversary card.. Maybe he was joking... but he wasn't.
"Pick out my own card, are you serious?"

"yeah! Which one do you like"

*giggle giggle* " ok funny- I am not picking out my own card"

" no seriously.. which one do you like"

This is the moment where we go back and forth. I was trying to keep my cool but I was loosing it pretty fast. I kept thinking to myself- you have got to be freaking kidding me. I have to pick out my own anniversary card. Whats the freaking point!?? He eneded up picking one he liked.. I am pretty sure I rolled my eyes and decided to let him do his thing.... As he opened the car door for me he explained we were gonna go have an ice cream before dinner... something he explained as it mirrored our life with the sweet stuff coming first......
anywho.. as we are sitting in the drive thru at DQ he handed me the card- which was not signed so I asked if he could at least put my name on the front. After searching for a pen and not finding one, I said whatever and just ripped it open. The card was very sweet but a room key had fallen out of it. Ohhhhhhh a hotel!!! HELL YES!!! the only problem was that with no sitter to watch over night we were going to have to go home- defeats the grand purpose of a hotel.

We headed to the hotel and as I walked in - there on the table was a dozen red roses (2nd dozen of the week!) as well as 2 glasses for wine. ohh la la.. My sneaky hubby. Why did I ever doubt his imagination for a special day!?? On the table was another card. I recognized the color of the ribbon on it but I had second thoughts on it.. When I opened it I was surprised to find that it was a gift certificate to the AMAZING photographer Megan Wold Photography for a boudoir session. Holy crap! I did a quick scan of the room to make sure she wasn't there at that moment ready to make camera magic. I could not believe how nervous all of a sudden I was feeling. She makes women look.. AMAZING.. but this body is not no tiny fit body. I am a mom of 5 with saggy milk boobs! Then hubby interrupted my thoughts to tell me that this gift certificate also includes- are you ready for this??? It includes.. a FULL day at the spa with a manicure, pedi, massage, facial, hair and makeup! Holy boogers! He is crazy!!!!! He has so gone overboard! And all I got the poor guy was a card. Shame on me!

As we were sitting on the couch relaxing watching some tv we get a knock on the door. Oh please do not let this be Megan- so not prepared- I mean after all I was sporting granny panties and hair that was pulled into a pony tail that obviously read full time mommy of 5 kids!

That knock on the door was not Megan- it was ROOM SERVICE. Oh my goodness and the BEST meal! Steak and broccoli. Oh man I can still smell it.. It was so good!! We cracked open the bottle of wine and enjoyed this beautiful moment of no kids, a delicious meal and tv! heheheheh how simple are we with pleasures of life!

Oh- you remember that cord he bought.... yeah it goes to this kick ass system he bought me for the studio!!
After dinner and a glass of wine, I took my happy naked butt to the jacuzzi tub where I enjoyed a hot bubbly bath without kids asking what I was doing, when I would be done, if they could have this, so and so is touching them... nothing.. it was quiet and peaceful.. and all to myself!!

Now this lovely hotel room- did not go to waste- oh no it did not.. hubby told me that I would be staying and he would go home to the kids. I was to stay here and sleep and relax and he would pick me up at check out.

yeah.. its ok if you hate me :) I can deal with that- after all, my hubby loves me!

In all seriousness- I am so blessed. Not only with this amazing family I have but also with a husband that truly loves me for who I am. He loves all my faults, all my sillies, all of me! We have built an amazing life together and I am so excited to see how much stronger our relationship grows from here!!!